Good morning, Players!

Last week brought us our first official winner of the Button in its short history. Even though the prize pool reset, your enthusiasm for guessing did not—thanks to everyone who has played so far. We go again today. 

Also, big shout out to Dylan from Growth Currency for writing up a great piece about the psychology behind the Button. Give it a read.

Without further ado, here are your Winners and Losers of the week. 

WINNER

Blind rage

If you cure 1,000 people of blindness and don’t post a YouTube video about it, did it really happen? Lucky for us, we don’t need to deal in hypotheticals because we have MrBeast. The biggest YouTuber on the planet has been the talk of the interwebs this week after he posted a video where he paid for 1,000 people to have access to corrective eye surgery.

People have generally fallen into two camps since the video went up:

1. MrBeast is a modern-day Robinhood/Jesus who is using his platform to change lives

2. MrBeast is an attention-seeking monster who is monetizing human suffering for views

Even MrBeast himself was a little confused as to what he’s supposed to do at this point. 

He needs to make videos in order to give away the sums of money that he does, but if he publicizes his deeds, people skewer him for it. On the other hand, it feels like MrBeast makes these videos without any real thought or acknowledgment of the systems that created the inequality he is tackling. It's feels like entertainment to satisfy an algorithm and nothing more. 

From a purely practical viewpoint, we’re putting this in the winner category because he did change 1,000 people's lives but this is one of the murkier ones. 

LOSER

Tom Brady’s life choices

Tom Brady is retiring. Maybe for good, maybe not. In a video he posted this week, he sure made it seem like he was hanging it up for real this time.

But with the GOAT leaving the gridiron behind, it begs the question—were two more years of football (one good and one horrible) worth blowing up his whole family for?

We’re tossing him in the Loser category because it feels like it wasn’t.  

Sure, there’s more time for golf in his future, but fumbling Gisele to watch Leonard Fournette run into his offensive line 12 times a game doesn’t seem worth it. 

At least Brady has a nice little gig lined up for retirement. His 10-year $375 million deal to join Fox Sports as an analyst dwarfs the amount of money he made playing in the league for 23 years. 

We’ll see how long Brady lasts in the booth, but in the meantime, enjoy this thread of epic Brady stats. 

WINNER

Retracing your steps

Earlier this week, a mining company lost track of a small capsule just 6mm in diameter. The problem? The tiny capsule was filled with Caesium-137, a highly radioactive substance that can cause severe harm or even death from prolonged exposure. Even worse, it was lost somewhere along an 870-mile route. Needle, meet haystack. 

But low and behold, the capsule was found yesterday along a 22-mile track of remote highway thus ending the highest-stakes game of I Spy since I beat my siblings in the alphabet game on a roadtrip in 2012. 

LOSER

All our portfolios

Anyone with some cash in the stock market has probably started peeking at their portfolios again for the first time in months. The Nasdaq had its best January in 20 years as fears from rate hikes and inflation subsided a little bit. Even Meta jumped nearly 30% after reporting better than expected earnings. But one person is feeling less than bullish: Mr. Big Short himself Michael Burry. 

On Wednesday, the man who called the 2008 housing bubble tweeted out one word then promptly deleted his account.

That word? Sell. 

While those who consistently call for doom and gloom need only be right once, you do have to wonder what Burry thinks is coming.

Good luck out there, Players. Play responsibly.

LOSER

Oversleeping

Drama has gripped our neighbors to the north as the Canadian version of Punxatawny Phil—Fred la Marmotte—was found dead moments before he was meant to make his Groundhog day prediction. 

Spectators had gathered to watch Fred make his prediction on Thursday morning in Quebec when the event organizer Roberto Blondin came out to announce the bad news. “In life, there's only one certainty: nothing's for certain,'" Blondin said. "Well, this year, that has come true. It's unfortunate. I'm here to announce Fred's death."

Blondin says that Fred likely died during hibernation but one can never rule out fowl play—or vole play, fox play, badger play, marmot play…

STATS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

• Crypto hackers stole a record $3.8 billion in 2022 with North Korean-based groups leading the way. The cybercriminal syndicate Lazarus Group have been by far the most prolific, stealing an estimated $1.7 billion worth in multiple attacks last year. Keep your friends close, but your seed phrases closer. 

• Turns out that groundhogs kinda stink at predicting the weather. Punxatawny Phil has only been right 39% of the time since we started tracking his shadow looking habits. according to the Stormfax Almanac. Maybe the pressure just got to Fred la Marmotte in the end.

• YouTuber and TikTok star Hank Green gave us some insight yesterday as to how much money he makes off of YouTube Shorts. His revenue per 1,000 views (RPM) is just $0.002 which means in order for him to make $1,000 he would need to rake in 500 million views. RPMs do change from channel to channel, but it is eye-opening to see how poorly Shorts convert into revenue.

TRIVA

I've been going to trivia nights for the past two weeks and came across an awesome format I want to share with you. Here's how it works:

I'll give you a clue and you have to give me an answer where you add ONE letter in order to come up with the correct response. 

For instance, if the clue was: "'Fireworks' singer who loves boat shoes" your answer would be Katy SPerry (since you added the "S"). Got it? Here we go:

1. Darth Vader if he loved undersea jewelry

2. He launched Eminem's career but is anti-drugs

3. He Walks the Line but hits the 3:30 wall every afternoon at work

4. A ginger wizard if he accidentally got sucked into a virtual world

Answers are at the bottom of the newsletter.  

THE BUTTON

NO WINNERS THIS WEEK

Thanks to everyone participated in The Button last week. The final number of clicks was 78.

• Closest guess: 83 from Henry Muggia

For any new readers joining us, reply to this email with how many times you think the Button below will be clicked.

If you're right, you win the money in the prize pool.

If nobody guesses right, the prize pool doubles for next week. 

Here is some information to help inform your thinking:

• Newsletter open rate: 70%

• Total subscribers: 818

Taking all that into account, make sure you get your guesses in before next Thursday at 11:59 PM ET.

Without further ado, The Button.

Good luck, Players. See you next week.

TRIVIA ANSWERS

1. James PEarl Jones

2. Dr. DAre

3. Johnny CRash

4. TRon Weasley